to relax. It was a bit like being in a steel bubble slowly settling deeper underwater. The pressure just kept increasing. It eventually grew extremely intense.

The choices seemed to be insanity (I’ve tried that and don’t recommend it), suicide (I was not quite ready to give up), or some serious inner re-plumbing. I hate plumbing, especially the dirty side of it. I do all I can to avoid it. Sometimes though, when you are talking inner work, there is no other plumber you can call. You do it yourself or deal with sh*t backing up and your inner house becoming un-livable.

So I started a regimen of intense focus and meditation. I set up inner exercises, cleaned up my diet, and began meditating and doing the exercises for hours every day. I didn’t do anything else. Again, I do not enjoy this process, but sometimes it seems the only choice.

For two decades before this time, I had worked as a counselor and a healer in the field of abuse: child abuse, sexual abuse, abusive relationships, etc. From that experience, I recognized my symptoms. They were very similar to someone with repressed abuse in their past. That’s what I was looking for – repressed/buried childhood sexual abuse.

A little about me:

Before I let this writing get too weird, let me tell you a bit about me. My first formal degree, a Bachelor’s, is in engineering from one of the US’s best engineering schools. My Master’s degree is in science from an almost as highly rated program. I think like an engineer and a scientist. “Prove it to me or shut up about it” has been a motto for years. If I can’t take it apart and see how it works it doesn’t interest me.

Now, add to that huge piece of me the fact that I was raised by fundamentalist parents. Once I escaped that suffocating religious paradigm, I fought very hard to avoid being caught in any belief. You might say that they burned out my capacity to believe. To this day, I can not manage that simple exercise—belief. Not even in small things.

There is one more important piece. I am an empath. I feel other people’s emotion as if they were mine. For near forty years I have lived with a level of sensitivity that most people do not know is even possible. It is this ?gift that made me such an effective counselor and healer. I have explored every religion, philosophy, metaphysics, etc. looking for a better understanding of what I do. I have traveled all over the world studying religions, myths and mythologies. My Doctoral degree is in religious studies. In all my studies and in all my travels, I have maintained that engineering attitude. Prove it to me or go away. I refuse to blindly accept anything.

Back to the story:

After two weeks or so of very intense inner work, I began to have flashes of something strange. I began to feel, sense, and see some things I had trouble accepting. At first they were just stories. They quickly became more intense, however, until I felt them, not just emotionally but with the intuitive senses as well. I remembered them. The more I let go of what I already “knew” and just remembered, the clearer these memories came. They scared me a bit because they were so crazy, so foreign, so unbelievable... The only people I knew who talked about these things were complete nutters. I didn’t want to be any more nuts than I already was… I tried to quit what I was doing.

The engineer would not give up, however. I continued to poke and probe and dig. I took the memories apart and paid close attention to the feelings tied to them. I dissected it all and put it back together. It was a messy process, but I was convinced. The “alternate creation story” is what came out of it. I won’t claim that any of this is true, but it is real to me. I remember it more clearly than much of my own childhood. And strangely, a lot of people I have never met – nor even heard of when I went through this process – are telling the same story. Here it is:

Nicholas Knoth

[email protected]

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2. The Story

An Alternative Story of Creation and of "The End Times"

Foreword: Prejudice

The following is an alternate story of creation. It involves non-earth people – aliens – who have a reptilian appearance. It comes from a series of other-life memories I recalled. At the time I knew nothing of the many others who have told similar stories. Several people have warned me not to publish this writing because of the prejudice in the New-Age religion against reptilian aliens. These well meaning people suggest that “All reptilians are evil.”

My response is simple. When I was a child in the Mid-West of the U.S., my parents told me that “All black people are dangerous” and to be avoided. I heard since then that: “All Mexicans are lazy.”, “All Asians are sneaky and can’t be trusted.”, “All Jews are manipulative.”, “All non-Catholics are going to Hell.”, “All homosexuals are rapists and sinners.”, “All Arabs are terrorists.” … and so many more. The people who say such things usually mean well, but they are clearly misled. Such generalizations are silly. There are good and bad among every group that exists. No enlightened spiritual being will make such negative comments about a whole class. Those who say such things are simply frightened. Their spirits have not yet developed enough to see their world clearly – so they live in their stereotypes. Do not pay too much attention to the criticism of such. That said, on to the story…

The Study

It was more than half a million years ago that I decided to be born and to begin a new life on a world far from this one. It is a planet in a system near one of the three stars we know as "Orion's Belt." The people of that world are very long-lived, to the point that death is nearly unknown. They are a peaceful people of exploration and study. They travel among the stars to study the development of life and especially the beginnings of sentience. They are scientists, people of the mind, and thus they honor the birth of self-awareness in a species above nearly any other occurrence. It is a deeply sacred time to them. They mourn the passing of species (especially the destruction or self-destruction of sentient races). They do not, however, interfere. Even when a species they have studied for tens of thousands of years destroys itself, their rules prevent them from acting. They only watch, and study.

I spent 300,000 years or so among them, growing in recognition amongst their kind. So long was I there that I began to forget who I was before and think of myself as one of them. I worked to gain renown for a specific reason. There was a young planet that was beginning to develop sentience. It was a special occasion and a very special planet. The team that would be sent to study the events there would contain only their best and brightest. I worked to become one of those. When the time came I was still fairly junior, but it was enough.

This is that planet.

Over a quarter million years ago, when they sent a group to study the races who were then evolving on this planet, I was one of those who was sent. I was brilliant, but still only a mid-grade geneticist. I was also female. Though their race is highly developed, they maintained an almost unconscious prejudice in favor of the males.

I will take a moment to describe these people who came to study this planet, as that description is still relevant to us. They are a middle-aged species as species go. They have evolved beyond a point where they need to battle nature to survive and so have shed much of their animal nature. They have developed enough to manipulate their own genetics and had, long ago, edited out much of the violence and aggression that marks a young race. They had also removed the process of aging. They had however left enough of their original genetics to remind themselves of their own evolutionary path and where they had come from.

Unlike humankind, they evolved not from mammals, but from reptiles. Serpents to lizards, to larger lizards like the komodo dragon, to increasingly upright creatures like apes, to fully sentient cold-blooded beings. They maintained the scales covering their bodies. Though scales might seem primitive, they serve a few purposes. The scales remind them of where they came from and, in the rare case where their explorations put them in harm's way, the scales serve to physically protect them. Not many of them would admit it save the very rare poet, but they kept the scales also because they find them beautiful. They maintained claws on their hands. Their faces look a bit like lizards, but wider with much shorter jaws, very articulate facial muscles and an expressive tongue from the time when they still used spoken language. They have three fingers and a thumb on each hand. The eyes are large, beautiful, and very expressive.

The males are larger than the females – taller and stronger – as in humans. The people vary in size, and have an almost unconscious respect for the larger. The culture is most like that in ancient China – a fairly rigid heirarchy based on birth and respect. Even some of the customs are similar, such as bowing slightly to indicate respect. The reason for the bow is that it makes the bow-er look a bit smaller, thus making the bow-ee seem larger.

Somewhere in their history, they developed the ability to speak to one another mind-to-mind. Being cold-blooded they are less emotional (humans still speak of emotion today as "hot-blooded" and of acts done without emotion as "cold-blooded). Thus they value mind and the mental world highly and almost completely disregard emotions. Mind-to-mind communication is the highest form of sharing they know. It is an awesome ability, but also a great weakness, as we shall see.

Around 300,000 years ago when humans were still what we now call homo erectus, we came. We spent millennia in study of these primitive creatures. We watched, we recorded, we recognized this time at the cusp-of-sentience as a miracle unfolding. We did not dream of interfering.

The Deception and the Betrayal

However, a small group among us began to get greedy, a trait we had never truly removed from our genetics. We, in our arrogance as mental creatures, felt we could not lie to one another. Thus we felt we could police one another and remain, as a people, safe from the greed of any individual or group. However we had dismissed emotion. In doing so, focusing only on intellect, we had grown a blind spot.

This small group managed to stay in the "mental loop" with the rest of us. Using emotion, however, they hid their greed and their planned rebellion in a way we never thought to look for. It was a carelessness for which we paid dearly. Humanity has been paying that price since. They took control, this small group. They stranded the majority of our team on the planet's surface without access to our technology. We were mighty beings “cast down from the heavens.” Mythologies all over the world still recount versions of this event.

This rebel group wanted power. They manipulated the genetics of humans as we had once manipulated our own. But while our ancient efforts were enacted in wisdom by our eldest, and in forethought for the generations to come, this work was done carelessly, by those still young and inexperienced.

Their only goal was to make these primitive creatures intelligent enough to be effective servants. They used this newly evolved species (what humans now call "homo sapiens") to plunder the resources of this planet and sent false reports home.

Because homo erectus humans had evolved on this planet, they were in tune with it. They felt the rhythms of the planet itself as well as those of the other species. They understood the ways of the animals and “listened” to the plants, the trees, the waters, ... While it was not a time of peace exactly (before we came) it was a time of harmony. They were not highly intelligent and did not speak mind-to-mind. It is more as if their intuition or instinct spoke to that of all the other creatures. Once my kind began to manipulate human genetics, humans lost that connection to their planet and her other inhabitants. They became cut off and began to truly struggle to survive. Herein lies the root of the biblical Genesis story of creation. The serpent came into the garden and brought intelligence to the people there. In doing so, it cut them off from harmony. In this way were humans "cast out of the garden."

Genesis says God cursed the serpent. He said to it, “On your belly shall you crawl and dust shall you eat.” This was the curse given to our people by the rebels. We lost access to the skies. We walked the earth and ate only what we could grow in the dust of this Earth.

Similar stories are told in mythologies all over this planet. In these and in others, serpents are always the bringers of knowledge, and often the deceivers.

We were deeply disturbed by what our kind were doing. Despite being trapped and with only the most basic of technology, we tried to help the young humans. We brought them gifts and taught them things to make their life less violent and primitive. Stories from all over the world still tell of our actions. The Greeks say Prometheus brought fire to the humans and was chained to the earth in punishment. Native American and aboriginal stories tell of super-beings in animal form providing gifts to the people. The Dogon speak of people coming from the stars to bring them culture. The Zulu say that Aliens brought them the gift of language. The Chinese say a dragon brought culture, writing, and other gifts.

I know much of what my people did because I was part of it. Oh, I wasn't involved in the original cabal. But as I said, I was young. I had lived among them long enough to forget I had once been something other. I was young and proud and wanted to be part of it all. I was seeking promotion and wanted to show off my abilities. They used those things about me. I personally (and I now see, rather clumsily) began to manipulate human genetics. I and my team created homo sapiens. (Note: Current humans are homo sapiens sapiens. Their genetics have been further manipulated. Among other things, a shorter life span, a hyped-up sexuality, and an increased tendency toward violence were added.)

While our people had traditionally remained as unseen observers, this cabal could not do so. If they were to use humans effectively as a servant race they needed to set themselves up as beings who deserved to be served. They introduced the first languages and became the first "gods." It was easy to do. A race as primitive as humans, seeing the "miracles" my people could do, readily accepted them as deities. The humans served willingly.

The rest of our kind continued to bring gifts and to try to help the humans. Eventually the humans began to ask the cabal about the “earth-bound gods” who spoke against them. The self-appointed heavenly gods created the story of a battle in heaven. They told of the gods' servants rebelling and being cast down to earth. They warned of them as "beings of light" but deceivers, not to be trusted. Thus began another "myth" which exists among humankind in many forms to this day.

Through many thousands of years, they continued to play with the young race. Stories show up today in many mythologies of gods or angels coming down and breeding with human woman and creating giants or heroes (Genesis 6:2-4). From early Sumeria there are vases with a gigantic snake winding over the whole universe. The serpent guards the tree of life and knowledge in Sumer. From Akkadia there is a seal [ca. 2350BCE] showing the serpent in human form enthroned. In Persia the great sky serpent Azhi Dahaka is the creator of the planets and the sky. Early Mid-eastern myths see the serpent as lord of the sky and earth. The Dogon people of central Africa honor Lebe, a powerful serpent. In Zimbabwe, the Great Serpent became ruler and husband of the first woman and fathered a great tribe. There are hundreds of others.

I was part of this abuse for far too long. Eventually the cabal began to worry. They had sent some of the brightest of our kind down to the planet's surface. However, those who had been “cast down” were not fools and they were not powerless. In time they would find a way to get free, or to get a message back home, and this would be disastrous to the cabal's efforts here. They nearly succeeded when they convinced humans to help build a kind of communications tower to get a message out. The event is remembered in the biblical story of the tower of Babel (Genesis 11:1-9) and other places.

The cabal wanted to be free of these dissenters, but our kind can not easily kill one another. The mind-to-mind outcry when one of us dies suddenly hits all of us within a great distance. If the members of the cabal tried to kill the ones on the planet's surface, it would kill them as well, or drive them mad. So they came up with a darker plan. They engineered a kind of virus which would rewire the non-rebels and re-introduce aging. The ones on the surface would grow old and weak. Their minds would grow clouded, and when they died they would do so in weakness and confusion and thus be no mind-to-mind threat. The cabal did not know, however, that there was another player in the game. They also failed to understand how many of these “little deaths” would eventually occur or that each of these would drive them a tiny bit mad.

This too, I know, because in this too I bear the guilt. It was to me, the brilliant young gene manipulator that they turned with their plans. They spoke of it as a "test," a "thought-experiment" only. I knew. Inside I knew what they planned to do but I denied it. Surely this was just a test. They would not truly use something so horrible. Equally important to me was that I did not want to rebel and be cast down to the surface. I wanted badly to show how brilliant I was and move up the ranks. So I did this thing. I created this virus, and they used my virus as they had used me.

When I saw my own kind begin to age and die, I finally rebelled. I tried to get a message back home. The others however had expected this. You see, I had not learned how to lie as they had, and they easily read my plans. I was taken and sent down to the earth's surface to age and die with the others of my kind.

And here the story might have ended for most of us. If not for the others… There is a larger plan in place.

Wheels within wheels

Among my people the Old Ones are a myth. No one had ever seen one of them. Many denied they existed at all. But, because they showed up in so many of our oldest legends, some of our kind still gave them credence. The Old Ones were said to be an incredibly ancient race. So old and powerful they were to us as we must have appeared to the young humans. However, while we had a code of non-interference, the myths of the old ones always told of them meddling, usually in ways that made sense to none but the Old Ones themselves. For this reason alone many of us dismissed the stories. We could not imagine that a race far wiser than ours could fail to see the need for non-interference. Most of us were sure they did not exist. Most of us were, in fact, wrong.

I was young among my people and cocky. I thought I knew everything and had no interest in the "soft sciences" like mythology. As such I was caught by surprise when the Old Ones came to us, the dying rebels-against-heaven. But they did come, and when they did they offered us a prophecy and a very difficult choice.

They told us the cabal would rule this planet for a very long time. They said this was necessary and part of what they called simply "The Plan." They said they had allowed it to happen. They spoke in abstract semi-poetic concepts and mathematical allusion. "The Plan" might as well have translated as "The Way" or "The Way It Must Be." It was strange but it was so. They let us *feel* what they told us. It was foreign to us, this kind of feeling, involving as it did emotion as well as mind, fluid mathematics and musical harmonies in addition to the hard science we understood. But they helped us to understand so we would not have to choose in ignorance.

They told us we had a choice. We could accept death, which they referred to as merely a step in a cycle. Though it terrified us who as a people knew little of dying, it was not a disturbing concept for them. They told us we could allow our bodies to die and "progress around the wheel" or we could take a more difficult path.

They said this planet and its people would continue to develop. They said there would come a time, far in the future, when the cabal would have grown weak and corrupt. It would survive, they said, by taking energies directly from the people and not just using them as labor. There would be billions of humans upon the world and the cabal would control every one of their governments, their religions, their power structures. They would keep humans weak so they might feed on human life energies. The Old Ones told us that the cabal would grow more insane over the many years of their tenure here. They would, the Old Ones said, begin to encourage all manner of violence and horror because the darkest of energies would be easier for them to consume.

They said if we were wise we could choose to avoid all this pain and let our lives go. However, they told us, if we were willing to suffer beyond anything we could imagine, then some day we would have a chance to oppose the work of the cabal and help return this planet and its inhabitants to their rightful level of awareness. Many of us took this second choice. I don't doubt some took the wise way and let go, but many of us, for our own reasons, chose to stay.

The Other Road

The Old Ones told us that, if we chose it, we could be born anew into the bodies of the young earth races. We would struggle as they and suffer all the depredations and pains they did. We would be the servants of our own kind, living in poverty, weakness, and filth and dying in pain. We would not, however, re-enter the larger wheel. We would die and be born again and again and again, children of the men and women of this world. While we would, each time, have a sense of something more, something larger, something before, they would not let us remember. Doing so would interfere with "The Way That Must Be," they said. Each time we would be born in ignorance to make our way blindly through another brief but intensely passion-filled human lifetime.

They told us that one time in a thousand, perhaps, one of us would come back with a greater degree of remembering, of awareness. That these ones would suffer more because they were closer to knowing who they were. But that each of these would make an impression on the planet. They would help to direct it on its road to its someday awakening.

Most of the lives that we would live, however, would be lives with little or no memory of who we used to be. In many there would be nothing more than an intense if vague longing for "home." They told us we would suffer great pain and that we would cause great pain. They said we would be slaves as well as powerful leaders. That we would live lives of darkness as well as enlightened ones. That many would be forced to suffer greatly and would cause great suffering. Many would die as a result of our actions. We would, they said, be acting in ignorance with our memories of our true selves erased. They told us they would celebrate us for the times we brought light and life, and not blame us for the times we brought pain, death, and darkness.

The Prophecy

They told us there would come a time when the cabal had grown especially decadent and weak, when this world was on the verge of destroying itself, and when we had suffered and lived and died as humans for so long we knew all we could learn of their lives. They said at this time, we would be allowed to remember who we are. We would know again all the things that we knew once. We would begin to reach out and touch the minds of our fellows as we had not done for a quarter of a million years.

They did not tell us, but it seems obvious now, that we would also reach out and touch the hearts of our own, of our true family. After living as creatures of emotion and passion (as hot-blooded ones) for so long, we would have evolved, ourselves, to a place of integrating the heart and the mind. We would be far more than we were when we went in. And in some ways, far less.

They told us that in that changing of the times, we would rise. We would oppose the works of the cabal. Having been forged powerful and beautiful in the furnaces of this world through so many cycles of lives, we would be successful. They said we would break the power of the cabal. We would set this world free of their control which had grown so dark and destructive. And finally we would be allowed to right the wrong that our kind had instigated millions of years ago. They told us that humans would be unable to govern themselves in that time, having been raised knowing only violence and mutual predation. We would need to take over and rule this world for an era (1000 years?). In that time we would begin to repair the damage, heal the horror, and return this world's people to the harmonies they had lost.

Herein lies the root of another human mythology... In those end times the fallen angels will rise up against God (or gods depending on the story). There will be war in heaven. The fallen angels will be cast down for all time and a golden age will ensue. Because the cabal has controlled the power structures of this world for so long, it is no surprise they have declared themselves the winners in the coming conflict. Clearly they cannot be or this world would devolve into even greater darkness until it destroyed itself and the evolution of sentience began here all over again.

And then...

In time, when the humans and their planet have been set back on the path of harmony and can once again govern themselves, we as a group will leave this place. We will not go home, I see now. Having lived so long among these people we are forever changed. What was home would be only a part of who we have become. We will, however, be together. We will create "Home" amongst ourselves, joined in heart now as well as mind. We will leave this world and travel again amongst the stars, to begin a new culture, a new race, far more than its component parts. Having combined compassion (which is only achieved through living another's pain) with intellect, knowledge with love (learned through many lifetimes' experience), and a near eternal lifespan with the intimate understanding of mortality, we cannot help but be far more than we were. Maybe someday we will become the old ones.

(Copy and distribute freely (unedited, of course). Maybe it will spark a few memories.)

Peace…

Nicholas Knoth

[email protected]

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3. After the Story

Afterward:

I went into this experience knowing nothing of Zecharia Sitchin, David Icke, or the many others out there. I began it with a firm convictions that “UFO people” were crazy and the New-Agers who claimed aliens would come to save us were even crazier. At that time I still had a fairly firm grasp of science and was unwilling to accept things that science had not vetted… But this experience was too real to set aside. I remembered these things more clearly than my childhood in this life.

So I wrote this story out and—very tentatively—showed it to someone I knew. Instead of telling me I was nuts, she said, “Hey, I know this story. I’ve read it before.” No way… That was not the response I expected. I just remembered/created a story too insane to believe and the first person I tell already knows the punch line?

She gave me a book by David Icke. It was a pretty paranoid and definitely fell into the “nuts” category. But it told much of my story. There was a sketch of a lizard alien in there. When I turned to the page, before I realized what it was, I felt, “Wow, she’s really beautiful.” Only then did I realize it was a sketch of a giant lizard person’s head. As I went through that book I made up a list of maybe 20 responses like that one. The process was quite a surprise.

While I was going through this ?research process, I met a man in a coffee shop. Without prompting he came up to me. I told him nothing of my story. He, however, started to share some crazy things. He was very religious, but had come up with some unexpected ideas. He confirmed a number of things from my story. Incidentally, he must have been embarrassed by what he told me. He never spoke to me again—never returned a call or an email.

At another time, I took a job in the computer field in Silicon Valley. Shortly into the job, the guy who used to have my position stopped by the office. He was a strange fellow wearing big combat boots and a Hawaiian print shirt. He and the others decided to go out for a drink after work and reminisce a bit. They invited me. Since I was new it seemed a good chance to get to know my co-workers. At the last minute, eight different people cancelled for eight different reasons. One guy’s daughter was sick. A server that another was responsible for crashed. They were all unrelated things, but I ended up alone at a table with this guy I didn’t know at all. It was just me and him. We had talked for less than two minutes when he said a very strange thing to me. He said, “You are not human. You may think you are, but you are not. You wear a human skin, but just underneath it you actually have scales. You are some kind of lizard being in a human suit.” That was all. He never mentioned anything else about it, though I know him to this day.

I read a book called Return of the Serpents of Wisdom by Mark Amaru Pinkham. It was another “nuts” book, but it was also full of very familiar pieces. It said that a group of “priests” from a “serpent religion” had brought wisdom and knowledge to peoples around the Earth. It claimed that, in the coming days, these “Serpents of Wisdom” would remember who they were from previous lifetimes. They would take that knowledge and wisdom and lead humanity away from the brink of self-destruction and back to its potential.

I found another more recently. Flying Serpents and Dragons: The Story of Mankind’s Reptilian Past by R.A Boulay. Oh my. I could feel nearly everything he said. I recognized place names and words from that book. I tend to tab interesting pages in books I read. That one ended up with more tabs than any book I have ever read.

A couple of years before I knew all this, I felt a strong need to get a tattoo. Rather than get one on a bicep or a butt cheek like normal people, I knew I had to get it on the back of my right hand. It is quite a large tattoo and a very unusual design. It is the only tattoo I have, and it is a lizard done in blue and purple. In Pinkham’s book I found an interesting reference to it. He claims that most of these returning “Serpents of Wisdom” will bear a mark or a tattoo of a lizard on their body.

There are so many things that feel unnatural about this body. One of them is that the skin is so fragile and easily damaged. Another is it’s tendency to sweat and drip so many kinds of slimy liquids. It is too short, at 6’2”. It should be between 7 and 8 feet. It also lacks a large stabilizing tail. These ideas made no sense over the years, but they have been with me for a very long time, since I was a child.

There have been so many more pieces of this puzzle over the years…

This topic is, however, one more thing I seldom talk about. Most of the information out there on “lizard aliens” paints them as evil baby-eaters and blood drinkers. They have no conscience. They work for the devil. They are the devil. And so on… There is a lot of fear-based information. Given that prevailing attitude, I tend not to tell people, “Oh by the way, I seem to be a lizard-fellow wearing a human suit. I have memories of coming to this world 250 or 300 thousand years ago, and creating modern humans. My people are still running things. A few of us have come back in human form in the last few decades to overthrow them, however.” If knowing their feelings or future freaks them out, this would certainly be too much for them.

So there it is, the background the “alternative creation story.” If you have not read it yet, you already know the punch-line. If you have this may give you a better understanding of where it came from.

Peace…

Nicholas Knoth

[email protected]

Addendum: Why it happened

One piece that has bothered me about this story for years is the “why.” Why would a group of those dedicated to mental pursuits and insisting on non-interference do what the Cabal did? They interfered horrifically and continue to do so. Why? It does not make sense.

More recently I did some more deep-recall work looking for this answer. Here’s what I found. Every so often (probably in the thousands of years), a sort of energy passes over this planet. It is a changing energy. It brings a chance for those on this planet to develop and grow – to become something more. Those indigenous to this planet feel this energy and are stimulated by it. It pumps up their inner energy system, increases their level of emotion, and pushes them to greater spirituality and awareness.

My people, not being indigenous, were more strongly affected by this energy. We had buried all emotion for far too long. When this energy came around, it stimulated our emotional component as well. Because we had never explored our emotions, we had no idea how to respond to this energy. Those among us with more of a “dark side” were helpless in the face of this experience.

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4. Replies to Everyone

Hello All,

The reptilian time was, for me, rather long ago. I've lived a lot of years as a 'hot-blooded one' and this whole life time as an empath. So the warmth of your responses means a lot to me. The story seemed more than a little crazy the first time. If I hadn't seen so much supporting evidence, i might never have shared it at all!

I become un-rooted (translated: homeless) in three weeks. The lease ends. I intend to toss a few things in the car, get rid of the rest, and head somewhere new. Ideally, the intuitive side will tell me where before the last moment... but we'll see. For now, my life is crazy busy so i write all your responses briefly in one note. Until i can f ind a new place to stay, afford a network connection, and have some idea what's next, i'll be out of touch (except by cell phone if anyone would like it. :)

My last couple of weeks here are dedicated to putting up a web-site to begin sharing some of the ?magick and experiences of my life. If anyone is interested, there will eventually be a lot of amazing content there. for now, it's still in its infancy. http://ActAlwaysInLove.com

National radio interview next week with the Night Watchman Chronicles if anyone wants to hear me talk a abit about my past, my present, my Gifts, my goals... Download it (when it's up) at http://www.nightwatchmanchronicles.com/

Specific answers below:

Purple:

I see we have more in common that I might have expected....Welcome back to remembering the past and what mightsoon be again in another level or awareness and acceptance....Our storiesamny be related, but not the "same". Perhaps we have much to discuss, hm? :)

Thank you for your support. "perhaps"? how will we know unless we try. drop me a line on or off-forum and we can chat. :)

Epona:

'Manual for the Mind' by Catherine Wilkins

saw this book on amazon. don't want to order it as it may come in after i'm gone. have added it to the "wish-list" for next time i feel settled. thanks for the ref :)

Anni:

Yes I have the same memories thank you for reminding me of

them...lizards and all..i wear a 'silver lizard' necklace all the

time...ditto about R.A. Boulay...

Fun! It's exciting to find that we are not so strange... that there are others like us.

Jason:

THANKYOU...what an AMAZING story it is!!!...so thanks again for a

little peace of mind ... actually, thanks A LOT for that, it means a great deal

to me!!! ... it hasn't triggered any memories...My memories have definitely been blocked, ... Can I ask how many were on the original team and how many were exiled to the surface???

Thanks for the effusive response. I do appreciate it. :) it means a lot to me as well. maybe i'll quote you on the web site!

re blocked memories: one of the pieces going up on the web-site (courtesy of a lot of years of trouble, pain, world-travel, study, soul-searching, wondering, and wandering.... is a series of exercises. they will unblock the "block". guaranteed or double your money back! (which since it's free is not so much ;)...

my memory says the ship was round, not a saucer or a cigar like in sci-fi. i could prob give you a lot of details about it if i tried. Crew was around 100 i think. The number who actively opposed "the cabal" was about 60 (maybe someting to do with the bible story saying 1/3 of angels rebelled in heaven?). But over time, with paranoia, squabbles, and failing sanity... more have been exiled. i'd be surprised if there are 10 left there now. don't know. the memories are from pretty long ago. (There are many more of us with reptilian memories today. we have come in lots of different ways to be on this planet at this time.)

again to all... many thanks. to the lurkers out there, PLZ post your thots as well. let the rest of us know what you're feeling. I imagine there are a lot more of us than we might expect.

peace!

nicholas